Ganesh Chaturthi, also called Vinayaka Chaturthi, in Hinduism, 10-day festival marking the birth of the elephant-headed deity Ganesha, the god of prosperity and wisdom.

Why is Ganesh Chaturthi celebrated?

The festival celebrates Ganesha as the God of New Beginnings and the Remover of Obstacles as well as the god of wisdom and intelligence and is observed throughout India, especially in the states such as Maharashtra, Karnataka, Kerala, Telangana, Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Goa.

Ganesh Chathurthi is celebrated annually with rich fervour on the fourth day of the first fortnight of Bhadrapada month, according to Hindu calendar.

This day typically falls closely during August or September month as per the Gregorian calendar.

Why there is 10 days in Ganesh Chaturthi?

It is believed that during these 10 days Lord Ganesha graces the Earth and brings happiness and prosperity to his devotees.

The rituals are performed keeping in mind the tithi and mahurat.

11 Different Names of Ganesh -

1. Sumukh: He who has a beautiful face
2. Ekdant: He who has one tooth
3. Gajkarna: The one who has elephant’s ears
4. Lambodar: The one who has a large abdomen
5. Vikat: Intimidating
6. Vighnanashan: The one who ends all problems
7. Vinayak: The one who has the qualities to lead
8. Dhumraketu: He whose flag id ash-coloured
9. Ganadhaksh: Leader of Elephants
10. Bhalchandra: One who wears the moon on his forehead
11. Gajanann: One whose face resembles that of an elephant

What is Ganesha's Favourite food?

Ganesha's favourite food is the Modak.

Why Ganesh puja is done first?

Impressed by his love for the parents and intelligence in winning the race, Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati blessed Lord Ganesh with the fruit of knowledge along with that of immortality.

This is the reason why we seek blessing from Lord Ganesha before beginning anything new.

What are the 4 main rituals of Ganesha Chaturthi?

Every year, his birth is celebrated with a 10-day festival, during which four main rituals, namely -

• Prana Pratishta,
• Shodashopachara
• Uttarpuja
• Ganpati Visarjan

Who and why started Ganesh Chaturthi?

Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaja initiated Ganesh Chaturthi celebrations in Maharashtra to promote the spirit of nationalism

What is the moral value of Ganesh Chaturthi?

Lord Ganesha's actions teach us to value and respect our parents and elders.

What are the 5 fruits for Ganesha pooja?

We bring to you five healthy fruits that Lord Ganesha like -

• Apple
• Banana
• Guava
• Pomegranate
• Sweet lime

Ganesh Chaturthi

1) Ganesh Chaturthi is a Hindu festival which is celebrated every year especially in Maharashtra and Karnataka.

2) Ganesh Chaturthi is celebrated as the birth anniversary of Lord Shiv’s son Ganesh.

3) Ganesh Chaturthi is celebrated in the month of August-September every year.

4) In Hindu mythology, Lord Ganesh is “Pratham Pujya” i.e. worshiped first among all.

5) Lord Ganesh is also considered as “Vighna Harta” i.e. one who removes all the obstacles.

6) Prior to starting any big, important and religious work, people first remember Lord Ganesh.

7) In order to get rid of all troubles and obstacles, people worship and remember Lord Ganesh.

8) During Ganesh Chaturthi, people bring Ganapati idol in their homes and worship it with full devotion.

9) Various trusts and societies also set up big ‘pandals’ for worshiping Lord Ganesh in the city.

Things we model for our kids whether we know it or no.

Basically our children are imitators copycats
so whatever we do they copy and especially not the good things, but the bad things are replicated faster.

Bacche sunte nahi hai......

Listen to me.....

As parents we mostly struggle to make our children listen to us.
Our greatest problem or issue is to make our children listen and obey to what we say.

What to do ???

If we always want our children to listen to us - Generally we command or instruct.
Our instruction or command is generally like this -
"Listen to me", " Why don't you listen to me " ???
Read this sentence again - it says ME and that's were the problem is.

Me, Myself and I are wrong words for a healthy conversation.

Why ????

Because everyone in this world, may it be toddler, a youngster, a middle-aged person, everybody struggles to find a listener.

Listening shows kids they matter, we love them and their words are very important.

A healthy conversation with children will only happen if we listen more and instruct less.

Mark this next time and make a note of it.

What are you using more -

your ears or

Your mouth

The normal scenario.

When children come to us, to share something......
the first thing we do is , (mostly 90/100 - times)

Not now,

I'm doing some work,

let me finish this,

wait a minute....

Isn't it parents...????

We don't listen, we delay ...

The moment and the child both are ignored.

The child is left unheard, this child carries the burden and tries to deal with it.

Since, the child does not know to regulate the emotions, the child is disturbs and hence the drama starts.

Drama - shouting - screaming - crying - throwing tantrums etc.

Our behavior and our reply is the Childs learning ground.

The child learns to ignore listening.

We have to realize, that when a child is coming to tell or share something, we have to LISTEN.

Present moment has to be addressed and not postponed or ignored.

If we are doing something which is important, we should make that thing clear to the child without making the child feel rejected.

If we want the child to wait because we are doing something which is very important and urgent our conversation should be like this -

The child has come up with a problem and is crying -

Parent - stop your work for a minute, make an eye contact with the child, hold him and very calmly tell the child -

"Give me some time and I will talk to you."

Let the child absorb what you have said, kindly wait for the child to react or respond.

Even after this the child is not calmed hold your work and attend the child.

Why - because

for the child, that talk or whatever he wants to share or tell us is most important at that moment. whether it could be just that the crayon has broken or the pencil is lost or the TV remote is not working or the friend has stopped talking to her or they had a little fight. WHATEVER
For the child, those emotions are extremely important and with those emotions they come to us and they want a soft corner and peaceful listening.

When we don't attempt this moment the volcano of emotion will be exploded.

Children will listen to you after they feel listened to

- Dr. Jane Nelson

Present moment is most important

What we can do ??

Pause, make an eye contact with a child, hold/hug the child and allow the child to pour out everything.
This will release everything from the child's mind and heart.
To be in the child memory tomorrow we have to be with them today.
Today if we don't listen to them, tomorrow they will not listen.

When children are young its important that we develop a bond with them because if today we ignored to listen, they will find listeners outside and our bond will become weak.

As children grow our parental bond with our children should become stronger each day, because when children start facing and meeting the people in the outer world, they get influenced easily.'

The best inheritance a parent can give is children is a few minutes of his time each day.

Behavior Management & Strategies

Understanding children and their behavior.

Role Model :

Parents have to be role models for their children and practice what they preach.

For kids of 0 to 6 years, actions speak louder than words. Children observe and learn.

For Example:

Good morning, if you want your child to say Good morning, rather than always telling or instructing the child, you as a parent, say it always automatically it will be noticed by the child.

Some children tend to notice and implement fast a few take some time, and few won't but in any case, nagging will not help.

Children who talk at home have a feeling of ownership. They feel that “the kingdom is mine.”

Children are individuals and have a nature and personality of their own.

Children should be heard when they speak. Respect even a two-year-old child. Attend them if you want to be attended by them later.

Types of behavior seen in children of 0 to 6 years.

Children interrupt when people talk. That is because parents always give instructions to the children but do not give an ear to what they are saying.

The children don’t get ample time to speak. Parents give too many instructions which can’t be registered together in the child’s mind.

Children are talkative and have lots of words to express. That is their outlet of emotion.

When children don’t get an outlet they will scream and shout.

Types of children based on their personality.

We need to identify the child.

• Introvert

• Extrovert

• Sensitive

• Emotional

• Aggressive

For example, talking about shy kids. They would run away when asked to recite a rhyme or in front of guests.

For example, talking about aggressive kids they shout, scream, and throw tantrums.

What are the strategies that can be used?

Let us have a look at these situations -

• When kids are shy, they should be given time to prepare themselves for speaking in front of others. Let them come up and say that they are ready.

• Aggressive kids should be given an atmosphere of physical movement. They should be allowed to move their hands, legs, and body. These kids have high energy levels.

• Their energy levels should have an outlet. They should do physical exercise, scream, and have an outlet. They have a medium of expression.

Important factors which are forgotten -

Quality Time :

Speaking about quality time, we should have uninterrupted quality time with our kids.

During the uninterrupted quality time, parents should keep their eyes and ears open. They should not speak.

Parents should to their kids every day.

No Negatives :

Instead of using the word “No” we can be Affirmative.

As an example:

If the floor is wet we immediately tell an approaching child no. Instead, we can say “What will we do if the floor is wet beta?”

This requires a lot of practice. We can even write and inculcate this habit.

Touch Therapy :

Touch therapy is all about emotional touch and physical touch.

During the age of 0 to 6 years, parents should create a special bonding with kids by hugging and kissing them every day.

This touch is helpful because this touch gives immediate help to calm and understand the child when he or she throws tantrums.

Children who show tantrums lack emotional touch.

Whenever the child throws tantrums, do not correct the child or share knowledge.

Let him release. If we correct the child at that time he or she will not understand and do more.

Family Time :

For cultivating good habits in the child in a nuclear family both parents should speak the same language and work together as a team.

Whenever a child makes an effort the family members need to identify, recognize and acknowledge it.

In a joint family one person should deal with the child and other members must abide by it.

Do's and Don’ts -

Do’s :

Appreciate the effort of kids and be affirmative.

Every night during prayer have touch therapy with kids.

Don’ts :

Never offer gifts to children to make them listen to you.

Don’t appreciate the child alone. It makes him hungry for praise.

Screen time :

0-6 years

Screen time should be monitored. There should be proper interaction with the kids after their screen time.

Some things are not in control.

Whenever they watch cartoons with villains or things having negativity they should be asked about it and they should be taught why such things are incorrect not by enforcing it on them but by asking them such questions which lead to positive answers.

Teens :

Where teens are concerned it is very important to talk to them about what they watch however their screen time cannot always be monitored.

WAIT

W - Willing & welcoming

A - Acceptable & Adjustable

I - Incomparable & Involved

T - Thoughtful & thankful

Some quick answers to the audience :

Q1. What can be done about kids who are shy and do not wish to go on stage?

Ans: Parents need to wait and give them the freedom to move forward. All the children have individual qualities.

Don't think those children who are shy will not shine?

We should not push them but we can encourage them by saying “Next time we will try.”

Q2. How to handle aggressive children?

Ans: To avoid answering back, harsh and rude behavior by aggressive children who also fiddle everywhere, we should give them an outlet to release their energy.

Once action is provided automatically they will calm down when they are tired.

Q3. How to handle parents?

Ans: It is easy to handle a hundred children but not easy to handle a parent.

Orientation is the best answer. It is important to regularly orient the parent.

The parents are clueless and they have to be given confidence.

For them, it is the only child. They have all the time for their beloved kids.
They want the teachers to take the same care. They need to be convinced that teachers give a lot of time and effort.
The role of the school is very important here to explain to the parents when they should intervene and what is their role.

Q4. How to explain the difference between good behavior and bad behavior to a three-year-old?

Ans: While playing ghar, ghar, or doctor, doctor we can have role play and do a wrong act which they can identify and not do.

We can teach them sharing and caring. We can teach them no pushing and no shouting.

Beneath every behavior there is a feeling

and beneath each feeling there is need.

When we meet that meet rather than focusing on the behavior we began to deal with the cause and not the symptom.

Shielding / Over Protecting Makes the child more & more Fragile and this results in an immature adult of tomorrow.

Parents over-shield children and this leads them to become incapable of handling touch situations that are bound to confront in life. We want a tough generation ahead but our overshielding makes them weak. we should introduce children to failure and allow them to take failure with ease even parents should take failure with ease as actually, it is very normal to fail.

Far from being tough individuals, our children are becoming more fragile.

This trend is being reformed by society. much as being said about over-parenting, and helicopter parenting,

it's high time now to tell the parents to stop overprotecting their children from life's changes of circumstances or fortunes, parents are not fortune makers.

Children must be allowed to feel sad or disappointed at times.

children must learn to cope with setbacks or failures, and defeats, this is how fragile factor affects

You can spoil a child -

• By giving them an overabundance of materialistic things.,

• By trying to keep the child constantly happy and cheerful

• Taking away all the downs of a child's life and sanitizing the child leads to a disastrous childhood.

The child will find it difficult to cope and face the adversities that life will throw at him

Failure is a part and parcel of life, if we do not teach the children to accept failure, we fail as parents.

Children should be introduced to failures from a very early age, like not winning a school competition

The parents should celebrate the child's performance so that the child feels happy.

Parents are intensively career-oriented and achievement-oriented they do not want to children to lose. This reaction of the parents is transferred to the child and hence the child concentrates on winning if he doesn't win he becomes anxious, restless, disturbed, and disappointed and this lead to a child becoming fragile.

The children should grow up with the normal doses of success and failure.

Children should be encouraged to use the trial and error method, this method will encourage the child to attempt and accept the consequences,

but sadly today there is no space for failure in today's children.

A sports meet was there the child did not win after the program was over.

The father took the child to the winning stand and took a photograph, this episode seems very simple,

but let's understand what happens to a child's mind.

Do you think that father was helping the child??

No,

here the father was making the child understand that winning is important,

in fact, the father could have easily helped the child to accept the failure by celebrating the child's performance.

Do think about this episode deeply,

1. Parents' actions leave an impact on the child's mind forever.

2. If the parents accept it easily the child will definitely accept mostly is difficult for parents to digest the failure so children become fragile.

3. Every child must learn to accept criticism and not take every casual light-hearted comment to be very seriously to their heart.

4. Child must learn to stand to his/her own principle and expresses their own opinions when it really matters.

TIPS TO MAKE THE CHILD LESS FRAGILE AND MORE STRONGER

The child should learn to -

1. Accept the failure gracefully.

2. Respond to failure positively.

3. Takes the ups and downs of his/her own life.

4. Learn that failure is a normal failure.

Parents' constant interference and over-protection will only make the child weak and more fragile.

We as parents should look forward to building a tough child today, who will be a mature adult tomorrow.

Today's fragile children will be tomorrow's weak and immature adults.

People misunderstand that loving their children is giving them whatever they ask for. If you give them everything they ask for, the children will become more and more stubborn.

Saying NO, to a child for anything they ask does not question your love, in fact, it’s your love for which at times you have to say a NO, a FIRM NO

Most of the time we believe that love can only be expressed by giving whatever the child demands. We as parents feel that we should not deprive our kids of any materialistic things or comfort, and that’s the way love is to be shown. Actually, by doing this we are harming them. Our love should not be conditional on fulfilling the demands of our kids. We should be balanced figure in fulfilling the demands and giving the correct amount of anything to our children.

No is not a question to your Parental Love

A “No” to anything cannot be or should not be a question of our love for our kids. Because a proper balance of “ yes” to correct demands and a ”No” to incorrect demands will only make our children better adults. The kids of parents who always say “yes” to everything become “yes” listeners”, they don’t have the world known in their dictionary. These children cannot confront or tolerate a” No” from anyone, later this attitude disturbs their emotional stability and teenage crime takes place. Teenage crime is increasing day by day, somewhere our unthoughtful love is responsible for this factor.

Accepting Demands is not about affordability only

Before accepting the child’s demands we should also think that the demands are genuine, correct, and actually needed. Majorly the demands are status oriented. It’s not the question of whether the demand is affordable or not, the affordability should not be in reference to the cost of the demand but in the context of the demand being correct, genuine, and actually needed.

In today’s era where demands are mainly status-oriented, we should analyze before committing to any demand. Without thinking, if we fulfill all the demands the child will become stubborn and dissatisfied, in fact, gradually they will stop valuing things they get easily. It is very important to say a firm “No” to the children for their undue demands and even parents should not feel guilty for any refusal they make to their children.

No will teach the children to Accept Rejections

A “No” to the child will help them accept their rejection, which in life is a lesson to be learned, as life will not always be pleasant to serve him whatever he demands, we, as parents want to up bring a strong child and for that “No” at times, is needed.

Before approving any demands of our children we, as parents should pause, and think twice,

It’s a simple equation –

More Yes = emotionally weak children

Sometimes No = emotionally strong children.

Listening to No and Accepting No makes the children accept failures easily in life…

Let’s prepare children for Life….

Happy Parenting

No is also a language of Parental Love

What is Me Time?

The time spent for ourselves, to make ourselves relaxed, stress-free and most importantly happy is “ME TIME”

Mostly Moms work and help everyone in the family. They look after the needs and comfort of everyone but they take list care of themselves. When you ask a mom about their favorite dish, the obvious reply will be - what everybody likes.

Moms are the early risers and the last member to sleep in the family. Moms cannot afford to be sick, in fact, if they are unwell they won't even rest.

Moms live with the guilt that they cannot enjoy without their family, specifically their children. A mom's world revolves around the family and the only family.

Why Me Time?

Motherhood is the toughest job, no doubt its Rewarding Moms need ME Time to manage stress Me Time Refuels, Rejuvenates, and Refreshes Me Time helps you to connect to your own self...

ME Time is now much needed because time and the generation have changed.

Be Positive

Never feel guilty for taking ME TIME

Taking out time for MeTime doesn't label you as a bad parent.

Tips for Me Time :

Me Time is a simple thing, just doing something that you like, maybe 10min each day.

1. Don't feel guilty and permit yourself to be happy.

2. Develop a hobby dance/sing/paint/write/craft etc....

3. Take a tini-mini break.

4. Go for dinner/coffee with your girl's gang.

5. Share responsibilities/ ask for help.

6. Going for nail art.

7. Take a good hair/body spa.

8. Just talking or sometimes healthy gossiping over the phone ( gossiping is not bitching ) and venting out is very important.

9. You can add your ideas to spend your Me Time.

During ME TIME make sure you don’t think of anything else but your own self

Eventually, your kids are going to grow up and go away one fine day in their world and life, At that time a traditional mom is mostly left alone, but if you have your own little space it will help you age gracefully.

Mom Harsha Says - Dear Stress Let's Breakup

School, Syllabus and Stress – these three topics are interlinked with each other

Parents are very excited when

The new academic term of their children going to kindergarten is announced, the schools load the parents and children with books and syllabus.

it is a transition in a toddler’s life. As parents we prepare our children, step by step, for these transitions to make the journey smooth, comfortable and acceptable.

But, here I feel, we as parents, also go through a transition.

We need to also prepare ourselves step by step for the transition that happens in our life. This preparation will help the journey for us and our children very easy.

A few points Kindergarten parents should know……

Make proper and regular routine for your child.

Mainly include meal time, play time and bed time in these routines.

Make a habit of early bed time, so that the child is fresh when he goes to school.

The child should know his complete name and if possible parent’s name and phone number.

The kindergarten clothing should be easy to put on and take off if they need to be changed at school.

Do not stuff them with uncomfortable clothing.

Label all the belongings of the child properly.

Meet the teacher in advance.

Attend the open house or the orientation of the school.

This will help you to know the school better.

Include your child in all the shopping and preparations you do related to the school.

Try to make school opening a fun and exciting event.

Try small separation periods before the child starts kindergarten. This will make quick and swift transition.

Give children time to adjust and get comfortable in a new environment

Always say a goodbye before you leave your child. Never sneak out.

No Shooting questions to children as soon as the child comes back from school,

it is very important for us to make the child feel comfortable first.

Our questions to children about the school actually matters.

Do not be over-inquisitive and impatient to know what our children did at school.

We need to hold back our feelings, as our children don’t like Detective Mommies.

Ask the questions that involve and interest the children to talk about in detail.

Syllabus -

1. Children today are loaded with lots and lots of books, assignments, project works, homework etc.

2. Five-year-old children are no longer treated as babies. Kindergarten is getting tough day by day.

3. Introducing too many concepts is unfair. Proper time is not given for a child to understand a concept.

4. The main drawback of modern education is ‘one sizes fits all’.

5. Modern syllabus is based on age level and not ability level.

6. Increasing, irrational, accelerated, curriculum only pressurizes children to learn and parents to teach long before children’s developing minds are ready to learn.

7. Pushing children to learn at early age is counterproductive, it dilutes the foundation and steals childhood.

8. Today’s syllabus is more likely to encounter skills, drills and homework.

Counter Productive Effects: –

• Children loose enthusiasm for lifelong learning.

• They lack concentration and attention spans

• The performance starts deteriorating.

• Children are burnt out on schools and education very early.

Our Approach: –

• Our role as parents plays an integral part in defining pressure and comfort.

• We should focus on the ability level of a child.

• We should wait for the child to be developmentally ready.

• We should be calm and positive.

• We should treat schools and education as a normal course of event.

• We should serve our children according to their interest, readiness and capability.

Conclusion: –

Stop over scheduling

We expect our children to concentrate for long hours at the cost of play.

Give free time

We should give free time to ourselves and our children.

In this time nothing should be pressurized not even play.

There should be no learning, no goal, no competition expected out of this free time.

Don’t be study obsessed

Also Read – Is Your Child Ready For Preschool?

Avoid discussions about education, school, assignments and projects all the time.

Cut down on expectations

Don’t over expect, understand that every child is an individual.

Armed with these insider tips, I am sure your child and you will sail through the transition as smoothly as possible.

What are your tried and tested tips? Share with us!

Syllabus

Syllabus

Focus On Building A Strong Foundation

We (Parents) today, do not want our kids to lag behind in any walk of life. We are academic performance, obsessed people. We want our children not only to do well but excel.

As a result, we force our kids to start writing from a very early age, we don’t even wait for the development and readiness of the child. We admit them early to school, and for this, we go to the extent of converting any freelance activity into formal training.

Today children do not enjoy any activity that merely gives them fun, Learning outcome is expected by us out of every activity that the child does.

Herd mentality

Putting the child in formal school before the child is ready.

admitting the child to Nursery Class even if the child doesn't meet the age criteria.

A few parents, also manipulate the birth certificate of the child in order to take admission to the school.

Combining any two Grades together in 1 year, for example doing L.kg & U.kg together in 1 year.

The explanation here is one full year will be wasted just for a few months…

No focus on the developmental stage and growth of the child is even thought…

Let's Think about this -

• Does a child of one day and a child of six months, both are the same -Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and otherwise???

The answer to this question will help us understand the importance of developmental stages

Zero to Five years …..Foundation years

The first five years of a child’s life are very important. The experiences and relationships stimulate the child’s overall development.

The brain develops faster in the first five years and so it’s all the more important to focus on giving a child the environment to grow rather than the pressure of academics.

Right age

The right age for admission is

3 years and above – Nursery

4 years and above – Junior KG

5 years and above – Senior KG

6 years and above – 1^st standard

A normal classroom with a capacity of 25 to 30 children has a variety of children whose ages differ in that particular year.So how can you even think of comparing them with each other? Their capabilities will differ according to their age.

Dear Parents kindly consider the following factors before admitting your child to school:-

Age

Readiness to learn

Nature of the child

Health conditions of the child

Socioeconomic factors….

Consequences

When admitted to Nursery before the recommended age, the children face the following problems:-

The children today are from nuclear families. They lack the maturity to face the outer world as compared to kids earlier.

Due to early admission their foundation remains weak. The children burn out on studies and learning, by the age of 10-11, the repercussions of this are seen later

Their grades drop and they lose their confidence.

5 Stages of Child Development

Children Develop Skills In 5 Main Areas of Development

1. Fine & Gross Motor Development of The Child.

2. Sensory Development

3. Language Development

4. Social & Emotional Development

5. Cognitive Development

We directly focus on the writing and reading skills of the child. Actually, these skills come later in the graph of the development of the child.

Writing Readiness and Pre-Writing Skills –

Prewriting skills are very important for children to develop the ability of Holding & Moving a Pencil effectively.

Earlier children played in the mud and were close to nature so their fingertips and muscles were developed well. So expose children to nature.

The fingertip muscles of children today are underdeveloped, as they use screens often.

Prewriting Activities

The Following Activities will help the Children Develop their Fingertip Muscles, Palm Muscles, Hand & Finger Strength, Hand-Eye Co-ordination, Pincer Grasp & Tripod Grasp. These activities help to contribute to the Child’s Ability to Hold, Use a Pencil, Draw, Write, Copy & Colour.

1. Play Dough

2. Tracing - Sensory Trays

3. Lacing Activities

4. Threading Beads

5. Transfer objects with tweezers, tongs, ink droppers, sponges, etc.

6. Opening and closing of jar lids and clothes Pins

7. Buttoning & Zipping

Conclusion

We need to have patience & wait for the child to be developmentally ready for formal education.

The poor foundation is the root cause that leads to dropouts in the future.

Treat every Child as an Individual.

STRESS TO STRENGTH

Parents are very excited when The new academic term of their children going to kindergarten is announced, and the schools load the parents and children with books and syllabus.

We are very desperate to go through each and every page minutely of the books and syllabi of our children before the child even starts going to school we start stressing ourselves about academics. Every parent expects the child to excel in the class but here, I want parents to very clearly understand that we have to keep academics pressure, simple & age appropriate...Age is an important factor and we cannot and should not manipulate it, just to meet the cut-off Dates of school admissions...

We are in a hurry and we feel 3 months young child in a class will not make a difference, we tell, us it's just 3 months, but I would say it's 3 months, it's 90 days.

Let me just put an example, A child who is born just today and a child who is of 90 days, are they the same ??

The answer to this question is the crux of the entire debate, it's just 3 months, or it's 3 months...

Most of the time parents tangle themselves in the rat race & completely forget that children are individuals and not each and every child will act or react the same to the pressures put upon them...

The syllabus of any standard is a general setup. Children are different and they perform differently. Only completing the syllabus or getting an A+ cannot decide the future. We need to understand what to expect from our children. Sometimes our own expectation leads us to a miserable situation. Efforts can be expected not perfection. The syllabus given by the school is not a benchmark because, nowadays the schools have loaded the children with heavy academic pressure.

The nursery class curriculum in most schools is too much heavy for a child. And if the children are underage, think of the disaster that happens to the child's lifelong learning. We, as parents have to play an important role rather than just pushing a child to get admitted to school early and complete the syllabus, we should calm down and think and tailor stitch the syllabus according to our child’s age, capabilities, and interests.

The routine of a Nursery class child is so hectic that he out beats a boarding student and this routine is gifted by parents. In this academic pressure, we completely forget the child has to develop love towards studies. And our parental academic pressure defines stress to us as well as the child. We steal their playtime and offer them tuition from a very early age so that the child can match up to the class.

We are in a race where our child should know everything as soon as school starts, parents don’t even think that is the child’s fine motor, the sensorial is developed. Parents are not ready to wait, they fear that the waiting period will lack behind the child in class or among his peers. My dear parents, this thought process really needs to go through a change. We need to redefine our definition of Stress.

We need to think that everything has its own growing period and that period should be given if we don’t give that time it will somewhere hamper growth. The best example here I can give is, if a mom-to-be thinks that oh 9 months is a long to deliver, I don’t want to wait and want the baby in 4 months, just pause and think about what I am trying to underline. Now let’s take this deep and think. The baby which needs 9 months to come out of the womb comes out in 4 months, do you think the baby's birth is normal….. You are smart to know the consequences of this episode, just connect this episode to what we do with the kids of nursery and kindergarten...

So the message is: CALM YOURSELF FIRST AND LEARN TO WAIT, DON’T HASTE BECAUSE ALL ARE RUNNING…

Tips to keep our minds and kids happy :

1. If the kids are imperfect that’s ok.
2. Schedule daily relaxing activities for us and the kids.
3. Understand that kids learn in different ways.
4. Try to see the positive in kids.
5. Avoid negative and use positive statements.

Mobiles have become a part of our daily life, we are addicted to mobiles very very much. We all are aware of the disadvantages of mobiles but our addiction does not allow us to make changes in ourselves.

The Disadvantages of Mobile

First of all, it decreases communication because you get so engrossed that you become isolated and gradually you lose interest to communicate.

Children engage themselves so much in mobiles that they are getting disconnected from the live environment around them their thinking capacity, their creativity is put to a full stop. Children are becoming slaves of gadgets, and this addiction makes them irritable, restless anxious, wild, and also violent at times. The children's crime rate is increasing. In a recent episode in crime petrol, a boy of age 10-12 years committed suicide just because his mother took away the mobile. Just think how much this gadget is controlling the minds of our kids.

The Bluewhale Game

Also, the blue whale game is now hitting on to our teenagers. The effect of this game is so much that at the end the child is ready to commit suicide. I mean, my message is very clear that excessive use of mobile affects the brain and overtakes the child’s thinking capacity. The blue whale game is the best example to prove me right. The teenagers who are the victim of this game are the children who are given mobiles at a very early age and also without supervision. I have personally seen children reacting violently when mobiles are taken from them.

Children have lost interest in developing their hobbies. Rather than drawing, dancing, playing with friends, or playing any musical instruments they like to glue themselves to a couch with their mobiles.

At any social gathering, movie, party, or religious occasion. We have always found children with their mobiles, are least aware of what is going around them.

Children are becoming mechanical

Children prefer to play on mobiles rather than outdoors which, I think is the biggest disadvantage of this gadget. Children are slowly becoming mechanical, later I think we will have a population of robots who have no brains and no feelings at all.

Here I would like to request the parents to avoid giving mobiles to children from a very early age. Children should be given mobiles with clear messages of their use and also parents should keep a watch when teenagers use social media as a platform to share their personal life.

Even parents should limit the use of mobiles, especially when we are with our kids. Mobile is the need of the hour, I do not disagree with this statement. We live in a techno-savvy age but it should not dominate or control us.

The irony at this point is that to promote my message to use fewer mobiles, I have to use mobile as a platform. Again I urge “no mobiles to kids please.”

People misunderstand that loving their children is giving them whatever they ask for. If you give them everything they ask for, the children will become more and more stubborn.

Saying NO, to a child for anything they ask does not question your love, in fact, it’s your love for which at times you have to say a NO, a FIRM NO

Most of the time we believe that love can only be expressed by giving whatever the child demands. We as parents feel that we should not deprive our kids of any materialistic things or comfort, and that’s the way love is to be shown. Actually, by doing this we are harming them. Our love should not be conditional on fulfilling the demands of our kids. We should be balanced figures in fulfilling the demands and giving the correct amount of anything to our children.

No is not a question to your Parental Love

A “No” to anything cannot be or should not be a question of our love for our kids. Because a proper balance of “ yes” to correct demands and a ”No” to incorrect demands will only make our children better adults. The kids of parents who always say “yes” to everything become “yes” listeners”, they don’t have the world known in their dictionary. These children cannot confront or tolerate a” No” from anyone, later this attitude disturbs their emotional stability and teenage crime takes place. Teenage crime is increasing day by day, somewhere our unthoughtful love is responsible for this factor.

Accepting Demands is not about affordability only.

Before accepting the child’s demands we should also think that the demands are genuine, correct, and actually needed. Majorly the demands are status oriented. It’s not the question of whether the demand is affordable or not, the affordability should not be in reference to the cost of the demand but in the context of the demand being correct, genuine, and actually needed.

In today’s era where demands are mainly status-oriented, we should analyze before committing to any demand. Without thinking, if we fulfill all the demands the child will become stubborn and dissatisfied, in fact, gradually they will stop valuing things they get easily. It is very important to say a firm “No” to the children for their undue demands and even parents should not feel guilty for any refusal they make to their children.

No will teach the children to Accept Rejections

A “No” to the child will help them accept their rejection, which in life is a lesson to be learned, as life will not always be pleasant to serve him whatever he demands, we, as parents want to up bring a strong child and for that “No” at times, is needed.

Before approving any demands of our children we, as parents should pause, and think twice,

Do we want to make our children emotionally strong or weak?

It’s a simple equation –

More Yes = emotionally weak children

Sometimes No = emotionally strong children.

Listening to No and Accepting No makes the children accept failures easily in life…

Let’s prepare children for Life….

Happy Parenting

No is also a language of Parental Love

Mom Harsha Says - Dear Stress Let's Breakup

School, Syllabus, and Stress – these three topics are interlinked with each other

Parents are very excited when
The new academic term of their children going to kindergarten is announced, and the schools load the parents and children with books and syllabus.

it is a transition in a toddler’s life.
As parents, we prepare our children, step by step, for these transitions to make the journey smooth, comfortable, and acceptable.

But, here I feel, we as parents, also go through a transition.
We need to also prepare ourselves step by step for the transition that happens in our life. This preparation will help the journey for us and our children very easy.
A few points Kindergarten parents should know……

Make a proper and regular routine for your child.
Mainly include mealtime, playtime, and bedtime in these routines.

Make a habit of early bedtime, so that the child is fresh when he goes to school.
The child should know his complete name and if possible parent’s name and phone number.
The kindergarten clothing should be easy to put on and take off if they need to be changed at school.
Do not stuff them with uncomfortable clothing.
Label all the belongings of the child properly.
Meet the teacher in advance.

Attend the open house or the orientation of the school.
This will help you to know the school better.
Include your child in all the shopping and preparations you do related to the school.
Try to make school opening a fun and exciting event.

Try small separation periods before the child starts kindergarten. This will make a quick and swift transition.

Give children time to adjust and get comfortable in a new environment.
Always say goodbye before you leave your child. Never sneak out.
No Shooting questions to children as soon as the child comes back from school,
it is very important for us to make the child feel comfortable first.
Our questions to children about the school actually matter.

Do not be over-inquisitive and impatient to know what our children did at school.
We need to hold back our feelings, as our children don’t like Detective Mommies.
Ask the questions that involve and interest the children to talk about in detail.

Syllabus
Children today are loaded with lots and lots of books, assignments, project works, homework, etc.
Five-year-old children are no longer treated as babies. Kindergarten is getting tough day by day.
Introducing too many concepts is unfair. Proper time is not given for a child to understand a concept.
The main drawback of modern education is ‘one size fits all’.
The modern syllabus is based on age level and not ability level.
Increasing, irrational, accelerated, curriculum only pressurizes children to learn and parents to teach long before children’s developing minds are ready to learn.
Pushing children to learn at an early age is counterproductive, it dilutes the foundation and steals childhood.
Today’s syllabus is more likely to encounter skills, drills, and homework.

Counter-Productive Effects: –
Children lose enthusiasm for lifelong learning.
They lack concentration and attention spans.
The performance starts deteriorating.
Children are burnt out on schools and education very early.

Our Approach: –
Our role as parents plays an integral part in defining pressure and comfort.
We should focus on the ability level of a child.
We should wait for the child to be developmentally ready.
We should be calm and positive.
We should treat schools and education as a normal course of events.
We should serve our children according to their interests, readiness, and capability.

Conclusion: –

Stop over-scheduling
We expect our children to concentrate for long hours at the cost of play.

Give free time
We should give free time to ourselves and our children.
At this time nothing should be pressurized not even play.
There should be no learning, no goal, and no competition expected out of this free time.

Don’t be study obsessed
Also Read – Is Your Child Ready For Preschool?

Avoid discussions about education, school, assignments, and projects all the time.

Cut down on expectations
Don’t over-expect, understand that every child is an individual.
Armed with these insider tips, I am sure your child and you will sail through the transition as smoothly as possible.

What are your tried and tested tips? Share with us.